It Is Your Choice…..

It is our choice and ours alone to decide who we spend the rest of our lives with. No one forced us to marry or commit to the person we chose.  If yours is anything like mine, there are days I could strangle my partner, days I would be relieved if they were out of my life and days I feel broken beyond repair from hurt. Oh, I’ve not been guiltless in these matters and I’m not perfect, but I do love with all of my being and show consistent behavior that proves it. Unless there is abuse, adultery or sustained addiction usually the problem has a solution. As much as I hate to face it, compromise has to be made for solutions to be obtained.

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Watching Your Partner Walk Into The Fire

As in most committed partnerships we each learn different lessons about ourselves as we go. It can be extremely challenging to see your partner in the midst of learning an important lesson that you yourself have already learned. No matter what you say to try and guide them through, they refuse to count your opinion and help as valid. You watch them walk into the fire and go through the pains to learn the life lesson. You tried to communicate with them beforehand to save them from the fire, but they walk into it anyways. Nothing can stop them and I suppose in a way as long as the lesson is learned in the end and they only come out with a few burns it is better than not learning at all. It is just hard to watch.image

Habitual Line Crossers

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It is not always easy but profoundly important to set boundaries with the habitual, line crossers in your life. It can be a family member, friend or coworker that disrespects, hurts or offends you in some manner (often) Just when you forgive and forget they will once again repeat their negative behavior, which will remind you about every other time they did the same thing. It is essential to face the person head on and discuss your feelings about their ill behavior. If you choose not to, you must then carry their heavy load of negativity around with you instead of freeing yourself from it. Express yourself in a caring, patient way. If they aren’t receptive to hearing you out, then the habitual, line crossers must be emotionally and sometimes physically distanced from your life for a while.  This will give you a chance to sincerely evaluate how you want to view and handle the relationship going forward. Perhaps you suspect that the person will never care enough to stop injecting discord into your life. In this case they can be deemed as toxic and the boundaries may have to be made permanent for your own well being. Happiness resides in lives that maintain a positive and balanced environment.

 

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Love Never Fails. People Fail On Love

Dear Old Mirriam-Webster,

I find your definition of love to be vague.

1. a feeling of strong or constant affection for a person

Love defined by me-

A critical component of the learning process we call life. An emotion that breeds personal growth, truth and acceptance of ourselves and others.

Love defined by a friend- the absolute feeling that you couldn’t imagine moving forward in life without a certain person.

Love defined by my dear sister-

Suffering, tolerance, biting your tongue. Sometimes loneliness even when you’re with someone. Forgiveness. Little laughs; lots of cries. Not caring anymore then finding a way to care again. Trust. Paranoia. Vulnerability. Hardness. Softness. Balance. Being nicer than you  feel. (very accurate indeed)

Man Made Highway, Personal Detour

Each and every one of us is on our own spiritual journey…no path being exactly the same. Do not feel guilty or pressured because your journey doesn’t follow a ” man made ” religious road map. We all experience God in unique ways…nature, meditation, church, life experiences. It’s very important to listen to your heart and make spiritual choices that are positive and healthy. If you find yourself in a religion or spiritual group that is more judgmental than compassionate, you may want to take a personal detour along the “man-made” highway.

Learning To Love

I……am feeling so small,
It was over my head,
I know nothing at all,
And I……will s t u m b l e…
                                       and
                                            fall,
I’m still learning to love,
Just starting to crawl…..
~ lyrics from the song “Say Something”  by Great Big World ~
butterfly